You Make a Killer Couple
by SingingInTheRaiin
Summary: Will and Hannibal get engaged, and move to Baltimore, Maryland to start their new lives together. Complete with murder, cannibalism, interesting solutions to arguments, those stupid ties that Hannibal wears, and Will's dogs. (one-shot)


Moving into a new town was always a tough thing to do, but for the first time, Will wasn't entirely alone as he moved. He had his fiance by his side, and their new life together was going to be absolutely perfect. They were going to live in a big house with plenty of room for Hannibal's weird taste in art, along with a big backyard for the dogs to run around in. Will already had a teaching position secured in the prestigious FBI academy of all places, and Hannibal had cordoned off the fanciest room in the house to use as an office for seeing patients. That section even had a separate entrance so that Will wouldn't have to worry about seeing strangers traipse through their home. All in all, things were really looking up for the future.

As Will rummaged through cardboard boxes (he'd been making more of a mess than actually being useful at unpacking for the past several hours), he realized that he couldn't find his favorite jacket. It was a bit chilly out, and he loved that jacket, but it wasn't in any of the boxes that were marked 'clothes'. He peered out into the hallway, loving that the openness of the house's layout would allow his voice to travel to wherever his fiance was at the moment. "Hannibal! Have you seen my jacket? The gray one with all the pockets?"

When there was no response, Will could only come to two reasonable conclusions. He couldn't recall hearing either of the cars leave, so Hannibal had to be somewhere in the house. Which meant that either he had somehow discovered a spot where he couldn't hear Will, or he was choosing to just ignore his fiance.

Heaving a sigh at the annoyance of having to actually get up to hunt down the jacket, Will left the master bedroom. He was tempted to slide down the glossy wooden banister, but he decided that it would be best to try that out when Hannibal wasn't home so that he could avoid a lecture. Will hurried down to the first floor, and down the hallway to the kitchen. Some of the boxes were open and on the marble island, but Hannibal wasn't actually there.

Will frowned, until he noticed that the pantry door slightly ajar. He opened it further, and saw that there was a door on the other side of the pantry as well. When he thought about the house plans, Will couldn't figure out what was on the other side of the door, unless it led out into the backyard, which seemed a bit pointless. He opened the door, and his eyes widened when he saw the stairs leading down into an unknown depth.

Not one to turn away from anything, Will made his way all the way down the stairs, until he found himself standing in what looked like a basement. But it clearly wasn't attached to the basement that he'd seen during his first tour of the house. It was a second, hidden basement. The idea of a hidden basement brought thousands of possibilities with it.

Will wandered further into the large room, until he spotted large plastic flaps hanging from the ceiling. He pushed past them, and the first thing he saw was the stainless steel table with a person on it, and blood dripping steadily down onto the cement floor. Hannibal was standing at the head of the table in a plastic suit over his normal clothes, and he had a butcher's knife in one hand.

Will let out a huff of breath, and then put his hands on his hips. "Seriously? We haven't even been living here for twenty-four hours yet, and you've already gone against our agreement. I told you that this wasn't going to work. I may as well just go back upstairs and repack all of my stuff, because clearly you don't need me here."

"Don't you think that you're overreacting, mylimasis?" Hannibal sounded more amused than anything.

"No! You promised that we would pick them out together! And that you would let me watch! And now we're both going to get caught and sent to jail because you couldn't restrain yourself for even a single night!" He turned to stomp back up the stairs, no longer enamored with the idea of a secret basement. He could appreciate having a place for bodies to go, but he absolutely could not forgive the fact that Hannibal had just left him out of the entire process. It wasn't fair, and Will didn't want to build their marriage on lies and inequalities. The fact that they had both survived their violent and bloody courtship had seemed to bode well to Will at the time, but now he couldn't help thinking that perhaps it had all just been a taste of what was to come.

Before he was even on the second step, Hannibal was pulling him back down, having moved more quickly than he appeared to be capable of. "I do apologize," he said, and if Will didn't know better, he'd think that the remorse was genuine. "I suspect that I will be offering so many apologies during our marriage that they will lose all meaning, though, so perhaps it would be best for me to use them sparingly."

"Perhaps I don't want to marry you anymore." Will mostly said it just to be spiteful, since they both knew that he didn't mean it. He turned around, not caring about the way that the stranger's blood smeared from Hannibal's plastic suit, and onto Will's shirt. "Have you seen my jacket? I was looking for it earlier."

Hannibal quirked up one side of his mouth in amusement. "I believe that you packed it away in one of the kitchen boxes by mistake. Or perhaps into one of the garbage bags."

Will narrowed his eyes. Hannibal was already on thin ground, and he really wanted to mess around? "Did you throw away my favorite jacket?"

Hannibal wrapped his arms around Will, and pressed a quick kiss to the top of his curls. "If you're feeling cool you could borrow one of my sweaters."

Will huffed, and pulled himself out of Hannibal's loose grip without bothering to give a response to that. "Make sure you're all cleaned up before dinner." At Hannibal's curious look, Will rubbed his hands together and let out an evil cackle to mimic the kind that the villains in the movies did. "Did I forget to mention it sooner? I invited Beverly over for a small house warming dinner."

"Beverly?"

Will knew it had been a good idea to hold onto this information. Hannibal couldn't guilt him for making new friends and inviting people over after betraying Will's trust less than a day into their cohabitation. "Yes, surely I told you about her already?" The feigned innocence in his town was obvious to his fiance. "I met her when I came up for my interview in February, and we've been talking ever since." His eyes flicked over to the body on the table for a moment before he looked back at Hannibal. "I do hope you'll be on your best behavior."

"Always," Hannibal murmured.

With a triumphant grin, Will headed back upstairs. He checked through the open kitchen boxes just in case, but he already knew that Hannibal wouldn't have lied about throwing away his jacket. He'd been threatening to do so for ages, saying that no husband of his should be caught dead wearing something so old and falling apart. Of course, if Hannibal remembered correctly, which he surely would thanks to his great attention to detail, then he would recall Will telling him that if he ever got rid of the jacket, Will would cut up those garish and tacky paisley ties of his. So really, Hannibal was just asking for it.

Will went back up to the bedroom, and dug around in the mess he'd made until he found one of Hannibal's sweaters. His fiance didn't wear them often, even when he was dressed casually, but they all still managed to smell completely like Hannibal. Will pulled it on, then went to go stand in the mirror. It must've gotten stretched out in the wash at some point, because it was a little too big, but he didn't feel like he was drowning in it, so he decided that it would work.

After a while, Will could smell something delicious wafting up from the kitchen, and he grinned to himself as his stomach growled in response. He was never one to turn down a home cooked meal from his fiance, who could have definitely been a professional chef if he'd wanted to be. He checked with Beverly to see that she would be there soon, and then he stood up to look around the room and take in his work. Despite the earlier mess, he'd actually done a pretty good job of putting everything away. He'd given Hannibal the top three drawers of the dresser, mostly to joke about how he was too old to crouch down everyday, and the left side of the large closet. Will had put his clothes in the remaining space. There wouldn't be too much trouble getting things mixed up, since they both dressed so differently from each other. Will had also gotten all of the bed sheets, blankets, and pillows properly set up and made neatly.

Satisfied with how he'd done, he paused for a moment to grab the handful of Hannibal's ties that he hadn't put away yet. He set aside the normal looking ones, but shoved the paisley ones in the bottom of his underwear drawer so that he could deal with them later. Then he went downstairs, taking in the aroma. "Smells good. I'm sure Beverly will be pleasantly surprised that we're so put together on our first night here." Will's phone buzzed a moment later, and he checked to see that it was a text from Beverly confirming her arrival. "Our guest is here." He leaned forward to kiss the back of Hannibal's neck before turning to leave the kitchen. "And don't forget she's FBI," he reminded his fiance.

When he opened the door, he saw that Beverly was standing there with two men, one younger with dark brown hair, and the other older with short graying hair. Beverly grimaced as she nodded towards them. "I'm sorry I didn't give you any warning, but they were insistent on an ambush. This is Jimmy and Brian; they work with me in the BSU. When I told them that I was going to have dinner with the guy who wrote the paper on time of death by insect activity, they just invited themselves along."

If it had been Hannibal who had answered the door, he would have been extremely annoyed by the rudeness of bringing along uninvited guests. Will grinned at the thought of annoying his fiance with this even more last minute surprise. "No, it's fine, come on in. The more the merrier."

He led them through the front hall, and into the dining room, where Hannibal was just setting down three plates and wine glasses. He looked surprised for a moment to see four people standing there instead of two, but the look was almost instantly smoothed away into his usual fake expressions. "Will. I thought we were only expecting one guest."

Will shrugged. "Sorry. I guess I forgot to mention it. Totally slipped my mind."

Beverly seemed to pick up on the tense atmosphere between the two engaged men, and she cleared her throat as she held her hand out towards Hannibal. "So you're the infamous husband, huh? I've only known Will for a couple of months, but let me tell you, I could never get him to shut up about you."

Will's face flushed a faint pink at that declaration. "We're not married yet." He awkwardly reached up to scratch at the back of his neck. Then he turned to look at Hannibal. "Anyways, I certainly hope that there is enough food for everyone. I'd hate to see anyone miss out on a chance to taste your cooking."

Hannibal narrowed his eyes for a second before smiling genially, and he looked up to assure his guests. "It is not a problem. I usually like to cook a little extra so that Will has something to bring to work the next day. Please, sit."

Beverly looked a bit uncertain, clearly aware that it was a faux pas to bring along her coworkers without any heads up, but she took a seat at the table in front of one of the place settings. Jimmy sat in the seat across from her, while Brian plopped down into the seat at the head of the table. It was the one that Hannibal usually sat in, as he preferred the feeling of power that it gave him. Will was delighted with this turn of events. Nighttime activities were usually much rougher, and more fun, when Hannibal had a bad day, or felt like he had something to prove.

While Hannibal went to fetch the food itself, Will followed a moment later so that he could grab more plates from one of the cardboard boxes. The two he grabbed didn't match the ones that were already on the table, but Will didn't care. In fact, he thought it was better this way, because it would only mess up Hannibal's perfect dinner table even more.

He set them out on the table, and let Hannibal serve the meal, while describing it with a whole bunch of fancy words that definitely seemed to go right over the heads of the three FBI agents. As they ate, the guests let out several appreciative noises. "What kind of meat is this, again?" Beverly inquired politely.

"Beef." And of course, Will was the only one who noticed the amused glint in Hannibal's eye. He glanced once at Will with a small smile, and even though Will was still annoyed with the older man, he returned the smile.

Throughout the meal, they all exchanged random small talk, with Beverly asking the occasional question about their lives before they'd moved to Baltimore. "So how did you guys meet, anyways? No offense, but you seem like you come from entirely different worlds."

The real story of how they met was not as acceptable to share with company. No doubt Will's new friends would be uncomfortable to learn that he had been pursuing a local serial killer because he had been in great admiration of the beauty of the tableaus. When he'd finally found Hannibal, it had mostly been from dumb luck, because they'd brushed past each other in the street, and the stag that Will's mind always used to represent the killer had suddenly appeared. Will had followed Hannibal back to his home, though he hadn't been entirely sure of what he was going to do when he got there.

Of course, Hannibal had realized that he was being followed, especially since Will was just a grad student, and not any kind of professional in the field of catching criminals. At first, Hannibal had tried to kill Will. But then Will had managed to explain his admiration of Hannibal's work, and that he was able to understand it in ways that most people could never imagine. They had connected almost immediately. Hannibal had demanded Will kill at least one person, as proof that he wasn't just some undercover cop, and Will had gone the vigilante route by killing a different local killer. After that, Hannibal had started killing more, leaving obscure messages for Will that made him fear for his life. But then Will had noticed that more of Hannibal's tableaus had been created as love letters, and that he was being courted. It didn't take long after that for them to begin seeing each other for real.

But they'd come up with an alternate story so as to avoid being arrested for their previous crimes. Will realized after a moment that he'd just been staring at Hannibal with a dopey look on his face, and he quickly cleared his throat and turned back to Beverly. "I was in a hurry to get to one of my classes, and I accidentally dinged Hannibal's car. I started freaking out because it looked expensive and I was just a broke college student up until a month ago, so I thought for sure that it was going to be the end. But he was surprisingly friendly, and we just seemed to have an instant connection. Yeah, we're different, but we have enough in common to make it work."

Hannibal nodded once. "Indeed. How could I have not been drawn in from the moment that our eyes met?"

Brian put his fork down suddenly, and clapped his hands together. "Okay, I have to admit that I didn't see it at first, but you guys actually make a pretty cute couple. But uh, you said that you're not married yet, and gay marriage isn't legal in Maryland, so…" he trailed off, clearly unsure of how to finish his thought. Jimmy elbowed his friend in the side, clearly thinking that he was being rude.

It was obviously meant to be something along the lines of why they chose to move here of all places. "Well, there is a bill that's being worked on right now, and if everything goes well, we should be able to get married here by this time next year. And worst case scenario, we take a little road trip to Massachusetts. But it'll work out. And the reason we chose to live here is because it's where I got an offer for a good paying job, and there's plenty of rich people in the area for Hannibal to have no problem with setting up his practice."

Beverly had a mischievous grin on her face. "Well, whenever or wherever it happens, you can't forget to invite us to the wedding, okay? I've wanted to go to a wedding between two people who actually love each other ever since I was a bridesmaid at my Aunt Hilde's when I was eight."

When he noticed that everyone had finished their food, Hannibal slowly stood up. "I've also prepared a small dessert that I hope you will enjoy."

When he went into the kitchen, Beverly leaned over to talk to Will in a conspiratorial whisper. "How do you think you're going to survive living with a guy like that without getting super fat? If my boyfriend cooked like that, I'd have to invest in an entire home gym, and I'm always working out for my job. How's a teacher going to manage it?"

Will arched one eyebrow, and responded in the same tone as Beverly. "Don't worry, I plan on getting plenty of exercise." And then he glanced up at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at his friend.

She smacked him playfully in the shoulder. "I can't believe you're already in the honeymoon phase and you haven't even gotten married yet!"

Hannibal returned soon after that to serve everyone their desserts. The visit was wrapped up rather quickly when Will noticed Hannibal's impatience, and he practically shoved their guests out the front door. Beverly made him promise to stay in touch, and to let him know how his first day of classes goes, and then she grabbed her coworkers and dragged them back to her car.

Once they were gone, Hannibal didn't even bother trying to clean up the mess on the dining room table before he lunged towards Will. Excited by the chase, Will dashed up the stairs, and hurried down the hall. But for a moment he forgot which door led to the bedroom, and that single moment of hesitation was enough for Hannibal to catch up to him.

He was quickly pinned against the nearest flat surface, which happened to be a small bit of wall in between two doors, and Hannibal's eyes were gleaming with all kinds of things that Will wasn't in the mood to dissect at the moment. It felt like only a moment passed before they were in the bedroom, and they'd both gotten naked without Will even realizing it. He grinned victoriously before adding one last bit of fuel to the fire. "By the way, I made good on my word. I told you what would happen if you threw away my jacket."

Hannibal looked confused for a moment before understanding dawned on his features, and then he actually growled out loud. "I will make you regret that," he promised in a rough voice. Will shivered, because he knew that Hannibal was not going to hold back, and he was happy to know that. Every night with his fiance was amazing, but he just had the feeling that tonight was going to be more fun than most.

,,,

Will woke up the next morning, aching all over in all of the best ways, and he struggled out of Hannibal's tight grasp so that he could slink into the master bathroom. He looked himself over in the mirror, memorizing each bruise, scratch, and bite mark. Then he took a quick shower, hoping to be done before Hannibal was awake.

He wasn't successful, though, because when he returned to the bedroom, Hannibal was already sitting on the edge of the bed, holding up his paisley ties with a smug little smirk on his face. "Perhaps you should have told me about your organization system before trying to hide things among your own belongings."

Will laughed. "Maybe. But don't think that those ties are safe. They are seriously some of the tackiest things I've ever seen."

Hannibal tilted his head, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "Then maybe I should think of better uses for them than accompanying my suits." He reached out to grab Will's arm and pull him closer to the bed.

Will tried to squirm away, though he didn't really put much effort. "Come on, Hannibal," he tried to say seriously while simultaneously laughing. "I need to get dressed. Unless you want me to go pick up the dogs with no clothing on, and let everyone else see-" he let out a soft gasp as he was yanked forward and was practically sitting on Hannibal's lap.

"No one gets to see you like this except for me," he growled.

Will grinned as he nodded in agreement, and after a few quick kisses, he got back to his feet. "I really do need to get dressed. I can't wait for the whole pack to see this place. I'm sure that they're going to love it." He held up his hands in surrender before Hannibal could let out any warnings. "I know, I know. Winston can stay in the house, but the rest of them have to stay in the shed. I remember." He quickly moved to the dresser so that he could pull on jeans and one of his cozier flannels. "Though it's hardly fair, considering the fact that I let a beast like you sleep on the bed."

That got a chuckle out of Hannibal, who got up to kiss Will a few more times before stepping back. "I suppose that it would be in my best interest to shower and get dressed as well. I shall continue with the unpacking efforts while you fetch your animals."

"Don't be jealous, I still love you best." Will paused for a moment to tilt his head, as though he were reconsidering. "Well…" He smirked at the possessive look on Hannibal's face. "Don't worry. Even if I've had my strays for a lot longer than I've known you, dogs are a lot different than people." Then he tugged on his boots, and nodded once. "Be prepared for lots of barking and dog hair when I get back."

He headed outside, a small bounce in his step as he got into his car and headed towards the kennel. To save the trouble of trying to drive with seven dogs for such a long time, they'd hired professionals to carefully transport the animals, and Will just needed to pick them up. It was about a twenty minute ride to the kennel, but he couldn't bring all the dogs back at the same time, so he'd have to go back and forth to fetch them all. He was just glad that Hannibal had agreed to let him keep all of them, despite the fact that he clearly wasn't fond of them. The shed being custom built to keep the dogs warm and comfortable all the time had been their compromise.

When Will got to the kennel, he was immediately overjoyed by the barking of so many dogs, both familiar and strangers. He showed his ID and signed some paperwork, and then got to see his beautiful pack. They were all happy to see him too, and they began jumping up and down around him in excitement. It had been three whole days since they'd last seen him. He dropped to his knees, and let the dogs cover him with kisses and fur and happiness. How could Hannibal look at these amazing creatures and not immediately be impressed?

After he'd gotten his fill of acquaintance, Will took two at random and headed home. He went around back so that he wouldn't be tracking them through the house, where they were sure to knock things over and get fur everywhere. He spent a while with them so that they would feel more at ease in the unfamiliar environment, and then he headed back out. It took three trips total to get all of his dogs to the house, and all the time in between spent helping them adjust to the new place.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been out playing with the dogs when he heard Hannibal clearing his throat from where he stood on the back porch. "So was this the real compromise? The dogs will stay out here and you'll stay out here with them?"

Will looked up from where he was in the middle of petting and fussing with all of the dogs, who didn't seem in the mood to wander the large backyard when Will was right there. "Come on, don't be like that. I'm just used to having them always right under foot. This is a big change for all of us to get used to."

Hannibal took a deep breath in, then slowly let it out. He looked like he had something important to say, so Will stood up and walked closer, giving his fiance his full attention. "I've given the situation a great deal of thought. You're right in that this is a change for everyone involved, but I can see that it's much harder on you. This home is very similar to my previous one, and I had hoped that it would retain those similarities. But living together is about assimilating each other's lives, and finding a balance between them." Will didn't interrupt, since this was clearly something Hannibal wasn't happy to be saying in the first place. "We will have to set up certain barriers within the house. I refuse to have any dogs in the kitchen, and of course, they cannot go into my office. I don't want them going upstairs, either. But everywhere else on the first floor, they are free to-"

Before he could even finish his statement, he had an armful of Will, who had just thrown himself at his fiance. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best! I love you!"

Never one to turn down an opportunity, Hannibal quietly offered, "Perhaps we should celebrate tonight."

From the way he said it, Will knew exactly what his fiance was talking about. He couldn't help frowning. "But you just did that yesterday. Are you going to even try to pace yourself, or are you just waiting to find out what your next media nickname is going to be?"

"Not me," Hannibal said calmly. "You know that I think you look beautiful covered in blood, illuminated by the light of the moon. It's such a rare treat for me to see it, because you're always so insistent about watching from a distance."

Will knew all about trade-offs. It felt like almost everything in their relationship had been one thing exchanged for another, and it had always worked so far. A thrown away jacket for ruined ties. An undisclosed murder for an undisclosed dinner guest. A body for a kiss. So it seemed only fair that the exchange for letting the dogs live in the house after all would be for Will to get his hands dirty. He really did prefer to just watch, but when it came down to it, it wasn't difficult for him to kill. All he had to do was a little bit of research before hand into some killer or another, and then he could just jump into their headspace while he went about his business.

He nodded once. "Yeah, alright. Not tonight though, please. Just give me two days to figure everything out."

Hannibal nodded in acquiescence. "Now how about we head inside and break in all of the downstairs rooms before we let the dogs in?"

Will arched one eyebrow. "Even your office, and the kitchen?"

"You aren't a dog, Will. You are freely allowed into those spaces. And besides, it will make things much less boring when I am in the middle of an appointment, or another dinner party, if I have more interesting memories to focus on."

Will groaned. "You're insatiable for an old man." But he let himself be led back inside the house. Dating a man like Hannibal had been interesting enough, so Will could hardly imagine what it was going to be like living together full time. It would certainly never be boring, that was for sure. It had been a bit of a risk to seek Hannibal out that first time, but it was one that Will would take again every time he got the chance.


End file.
